Before and After

Oh To Be Small

Shopping Carts

This is what shopping carts are REALLY for:

Claire the Elf

As I was driving some neighborhood kids home from the bus stop, I overheard them talking about elves. One of them said there was no such thing as elves, so I decided to tease them a little bit. I told them that Claire was really an elf and that every year just before Christmas, Santa comes to pick her up in his sleigh and she goes to help him wrap presents and get ready for Christmas. I said her ears started getting pointier as the days went on, and that we had never told them about it before because we try to keep it a secret. There was a long pause, like they weren't sure if I was telling them the truth or not. Claire just sat there and smiled. Then one of them said to her, "Oh yeah, then what are all the names of the reindeer?" It just so happened that Claire had her Christmas program that day in school and one of the songs they sang was "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer." Not expecting a five-year-old to know the names of the reindeer, he was open-mouthed when Claire rattled them off without a pause like it was second nature. Everyone was silent. Case closed.

Double Santas

We went to the ward Christmas party, and the kids saw Santa. The next day we went to a family Christmas party, and the kids saw Santa again. In the car, Claire started snickering like she was up to no good. We asked her what she was snickering about. She got a mischievous look in her eye and said, "I told Santa last night that I wanted a baby that cries, and I told Santa today that I wanted Zhu Zhu Pets." She apparently thought that each time she saw Santa, she would add another item to her list, thereby getting more toys for Christmas. I better clear that one up.

Cooking with Kids

I went to a cookie exchange this afternoon, so I baked some cookies this morning...with two kids "helping." Why do I put myself through such torture? Here's a rundown of some of the events:

• Claire was stirring the sugar and brown sugar in a bowl--just the two ingredients, mind you, nothing else. "Whoopsies," I heard her say. I looked over and there was a slight powdering of sugar on the counter. She had flipped some out as she was stirring it, which is fairly normal for a child to do. But it got me wondering, "How does one learn to keep the contents in the bowl while stirring? How do you teach that skill? At what age does it happen?"
  
• We added the flour and other dry ingredients to the bowl. While I was getting something out of the pantry, I heard a gasp and looked over to see Claire covering her mouth with a pained look on her face. I thought she had bitten her tongue, but then realized she had flipped flour onto the counter. "Why am I even using a bowl?" I thought to myself. "I might as well just dump the ingredients on to the counter and mix it all right there. At this rate, as long as she's consistent with her flipping, I'll have half the dough mixed on the counter and the other half in the bowl."
  
• Xander decided he wanted to join us at this point, so I let each of them unwrap some butter and put it into the bowl. Xander wanted a paper towel to wipe his hands off with. Claire just licked hers. (Don't worry, I made her wash her hands again.)
  
• After adding a few more ingredients, Claire decided she couldn't be bothered with a tissue, so she wiped her runny nose on her hand and then on her pants. Once again, she trekked into the bathroom to wash her hands.
  
• A conversation between Claire and Xander: Claire: "Do you know what bees wax is, Xander?" Xander: "Yeah." (He had no clue.) Claire: "There's wax that grows in your ear, so it's called bees wax." (I'm not sure I followed that logic, but hey...whatever works for them.) Xander: "Oh." Claire: "See? I'll show you." (Proceeds to pick ear wax out of her ear and hold it out to him.) For the third time in a matter of minutes, she washes her hands again. I think we've covered just about every orifice on her face.
  
• Claire wanted to turn on the mix master, so I told her to turn it to a 1. She accidentally notched it up to about an 8. All the ingredients splashed, floated, and stuck everywhere. I looked down at my red shirt which was now white with flour, my socks splattered with egg-vanilla freckles, and the counter dripping gelatinous clumps onto the floor, and I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I wondered how much of the ingredients made their way out of the bowl and if the cookies would still taste just as good with half an egg missing and no vanilla.
  
• The second-to-last step of the recipe called for a sprinkling of chocolate chips onto the batter in the pan. "There is no way kids can mess this up," I thought to myself. I gave them each a few handfuls of chocolate chips, and they sprinkled them quite well, I must say. As a reward, I let them each take a few to eat. Breathing a sigh of relief, I started lifting the pan away just as Claire started laughing. "What are you laughing about?" I asked, to which she replied, "Xander just dropped a chocolate chip out of his mouth into the pan." I thought of all the mothers who would be attending the cookie exchange, and then I thought of all the tiny little hands that helped make all the cookies, and of all the tiny little now-empty orifices that hovered above all the batters, and thought to myself, "What you don't know won't hurt you."
  

Being Married to an Economy Major

Alyce had Market Day at school last week. It's where all the students come up with something to sell, then everyone buys and sells their wares. Derek, having majored in Economics, started suggesting to Alyce different things she could sell. First, he suggested that she buy her booth space, then rent it out to other students at a lower cost than the teachers. Then he suggested that she have a consignment shop, where the students give Alyce a portion of the money they make for the privilege of using her booth. Finally, he suggested she talk to her teacher to see what it would take for her to sell an A. She actually asked her teacher and the teacher didn't believe her at first. She said it was the most creative idea she had ever heard for Market Day. She's going to think about it and let her know by next Market Day. I guess Derek gets an A.

Fashion

The other day, Claire came downstairs wearing a brown striped shirt, green polka dot skirt, black tights, and black dress shoes. Alyce said, "That is a serious fashion dilemma, right there."

Chapstick

Xander walked into the room the other day and kind of grunted at me. I looked at him and his lips looked kind of funny. He came closer and I realized they were stuck shut. I wondered why, until I saw a glue stick in his hand. Apparently he thought the glue stick was chapstick. Boy, was he wrong!

Easter Egg Hands

For some reason, I love it when my kids have Easter egg dye all over their hands. I think it's because it only happens for a couple of years, and then they become neat about it. It's almost a symbol of their innocence. They don't realize the dye will stain their skin. They don't care about making a mess; they just want the egg to change colors. (And it does. Multiple times. To the point of becoming black.) I think we can all learn a little more about life by looking at Easter Egg Hands.

Claire and Xander

Claire and Xander are so cute together. Claire is so nice to Xander, and Xander does everything Claire does. It's really cute to watch. Every day they do something different, usually involving a mess of some sort. Here are a few of the things they've done:





Baking oranges in bowls (don't worry, the stove is not on)









Claire put Xander in a doll stroller and pushed him around











Snuggling on the chair together








They went outside to play in the snow. Apparently, they got tired, because when I looked out the window, Xander had his head in Claire's lap and she was leaning on him.






Eating carrots by the heater







Claire got an umbrella out of the closet and hung it over the doorknob. Then she put a bunch of blankets over it and made a fort. She and Xander played in it for quite some time.









Here they are watching TV together. He does whatever she does. (Notice their hands.) It's a good thing she's such a good example!

Little Mom Surprises

I love being a Mom. It's the little surprises that you find everyday that remind you that you have little kids. Here are two examples of things I've found recently:

A bowl of rocks in the fridge. I'm not sure, but I think it was supposed to be a future house for a plastic lizard. Why they were in the fridge, I'm not sure.






Little People in the tree pot. I don't know the train of events that led to this, but for some reason I just thought it was so cute.

I DO NOT Like Tarantulas

I was cleaning off the counter and came across what seemed like an empty container. It was a small round plastic dish with a lid. I thought I would just take the lid off and put it straight into the dishwasher. Expecting the dish to be empty, imagine my surprise when I pulled the lid off and saw a huge spider that filled the entire dish! I screamed, dropped the dish, and backed up shaking. The dish landed and the contents gently floated to the counter in pieces. It was then that I realized it was only the tarantula's skin from when it last molted. Quincy had taken it in to his class for show and tell. I made Quincy clean it up because I was still too freaked out to touch it.

Bubby's New Look

Bubby got her hair cut short and dyed red because they needed models at a beauty school. The kids were all excited about it. Quincy went to school and told his friends, "My aunt was blond and she dyed her hair red because she was a mannequin." I personally think Bubby would make an excellent mannequin.

Here is a before and after shot of her hair.

Unsupervised Children

This is what happens when you don't continually watch your kids: you go to download the photos off your camera and realize that your 5-year-old took a picture of your 2-year-old threatening the camera with scissors. Hmmm. I wonder what else happened.

Xander Learns How to do a Somersault

We took family pictures a couple of weeks ago. Xander chose that exact time to learn how to do a somersault, so a lot of the proofs showed his head down on the floor and his bum in the air. It was so cute that I couldn't help but laugh. Here's a video of his newly acquired skill.

Here is a picture of us on the way to family pictures. There is a shadow of Christmas lights on our faces, but it's a cute picture anyway.

A Few Florida Trip Memories

Xander rode on Bubby's shoulders, but didn't like the feel of her hair, so he had nothing to hold on to.

When we were feeding the birds at Gatorland, Katie was taking a picture of Justin, and a bird thought the camera was food. It swooped down and tried to land on her hand. She screamed and it flew away, but the photo has the bird's wing in the corner. Unfortunately, that picture is on Justin's camera, but check out Katie's face in this one. She looks a little freaked out.

Armando also helped feed the birds. I really don't know how he manages to do so much, what with his fake hand and all.

We went to the Pirate's Adventure Dinner Show. It was pretty lame. Actually, it was very lame. As we were leaving, Katie and I spotted one of the actors in the show. We actually don't remember seeing him in the show because he was on the other side of the stage, but we figured he must have been a really really good actor. In fact, we thought he might go on to become someone famous, so we decided to document meeting him by taking our picture with him.

Okay, who am I kidding? He was HOT and we wanted his picture to lust after. If anyone else wants a copy, just email me and I'll send you one.


This is what the Magic Kingdom looks like at 8:00 in the morning. This was an event to be remembered. Our family got there before the park opened! Apparently, they have a little "performance" where some characters come out and announce the opening of the park. Who knew? We certainly didn't. We've been going for 20 plus years, and we have never seen the opening ceremony. Pretty sad.

Dinosaurs

Quincy: "Mom, are humans extinct?"
Mom: "No."
Quincy: "Are dinosaurs extinct?"
Mom: "Yes."
Claire: "But they're making more at the Dinosaur Museum at Thanksgiving Point."

Miscommunication

Claire asked me today, "Mom, when I'm five, can I take my top off?"

"NO!!!" I exclaimed.

She was referring to the top of her booster seat.

Same answer.